What Is It You Wish For?
by CLAMP Doujinshi
Summary: Started by: Grimm. So yeah, I know I keep putting these stories up where you submit crap and what not, but it's a writer's block thing, ya know? Think about a wish that Yuuko would answer, doesn't have to be your own. NOT AN ADVICE COLUMN. T for language
1. WTF IS THIS!

**A/N**

**You people bored of me? Haha... yeah, I apparantly have been the only one writing on this account for a while, because somehow Kyki has fallen off the face of the earth. Well, we can only hope she returns so these stories I keep putting up can actually be, you know, COLLABERATIONS. Well, until then, you guys are stuck with me, SisterGrimm, the Grimm Sister on this account.**

**-symbol clash-**

**Pun rhymes with fun.**

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**Anywho... this is another one of those really stupid stories I submit when I have writer's block... because I often have writer's block... **

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**As most xxxHolic fans know, if you read xxxHolic (which I'm assuming you do) and you read it and actually know what's going on... wait, I take that back. Nobody knows what's going on in that story. Okay, rephrase. If you read xxxHolic, and you have a vauge understanding of the plot, you know that Yuuko-san owns a "Wish Shop", hai? Well, you know how all of those random people come and they're all like, "IMABITCHIAMUNGRATEFULWITHWHATIHAVEGIVEMESOMETHINGTOMAKEMEHAPPYYOUSTUPIDWITCH" and stuff? Well, basically, that's what this fic is. Post your review, along with a wish for Yuuko. We will post a chapter for each wish submitted, making a fun little story and what not that has a grimmly delightful ending or a delightfully grimm ending. **

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**THIS IS NOT AN ADVICE COLUMN!**

**We already have one of those... of course, "Ask Ayame" is something we haven't updated in a while, but all the same, this is not an advice column. Post a wish that you think would make good material for a fanfiction.**

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**You're review should look something like this:**

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_**This is the most spectacularistic spastic amazing spazoid flippin sweetistic fanfictionest fanfiction I have ever read, and I would like to submit a wish idea.**_

_**Someone comes to Yuuko's shop with the wish to be free of her anger problems.**_

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**Or you would write**

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_**Dammit you stupid damned frickin CLAMP Doujinshi people I hate your stories so much! You're the worst collaberation team on this stupid site or the whole internet! F YOU! I hate this story just like I hate ALL of your damn stupid stories. I'm submitting a damn wish idea because I just damn love to see you write damn craptastic crappy stories so I can keep frickin flaming all of them because I'm an arse face!**_

**_Some frickin idiot walks into Yuuko's shop and he frickin wants to get a frickin promotion at his frickin job._**

**_CLAMP DOUJINSHI YOU FRICKIN IDIOTS YOU BETTER FRICKIN PUT MY WISH UP AS A CHAPTER OR I'M GONNA FRICKIN BURN YOUR DAMN EARS!_**

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**Hahaha... to tell you the truth, flames are better than nothing. I actually get a good laugh out of flames...**

**So yeah, story starts when you submit a wish, okay?**

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**Everything comes with a price.**

**In this story's case, the price you are paying is wasting your precious time reading pathetic fanfictions when you could be outside enjoying the fresh air and getting stung by killer bees and wasps.**

**Ah yes. The great outdoors is a wonderful place...**


	2. For my sister

**A/N**

**Yay, a wish. I can actually DO something with this story!**

**I'm going to be making announcements in each of my stories, so I'm letting any readers know that, if you like Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRONiCLE, we have another story very similar to this one in which you submit a review for a world you want to appear in Tsubasa, seeing as they're always hopping dimensions and awesome crap like that. (I'M SO POETIC! I RHYME! Ah hem...) **

**Also, as many of you know, (those that don't know obviously just... don't care) CLAMP Doujinshi is a COLLABERATION FANFICTION GROUP (insert big flashy lights, fanfare music) and we are looking for more people to join. There is a link to the application site, and you can find that link on our profile. And get this... WE ALREADY HAVE ONE SUBMISSION. (insert oooh's and aaaaaaah's)**

**In the case that you are interested.**

**Neji: GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!**

**Grimm: GET BACK ON MY OTHER ACCOUNT!**

**Neji: This is your account.**

**Grimm: A collaberated account, not my account. Go back to XxSisterGrimmXx.**

**Neji: No. I'll stay here.**

**Grimm: Why?!**

**Neji: YOU AREN'T UPDATING ON YOUR OTHER ACCOUNT!**

**Grimm: There isn't anything to update.**

**Neji: _Kagura did WHAT!_, _My Pain, Persocoms in Wonderland, Fullmetal Alchemist Abridged, _That stupid Kakeru x Isuzu story, _Journal Not Diary, Good Intentions, The Cat Ate My Riceball..._**

**Grimm: Hey, I never put up "The Cat Ate My Riceball". It's saved in a dark closet located on my C Drive...**

**Neji: Grimm, I LIVE IN YOUR C DRIVE.**

**Grimm: Oh, right. Anyway, the only successful story was "Homocidal Tohru" with 40 FRICKIN AWESOME REVIEWS but that's long finished.**

**Neji: Only a twisted crack mind like yours could write an AkitoKyo story.**

**Grimm: I am proud of that.**

**Neji: Don't be.**

**Grimm: Did I tell you that the CCS collaberation we have on this account is going to be SyaoranTomoyo?**

**Neji: That's sick.**

**Grimm: It's amazing. I'm also debating how horribly attacked I would be if we made a Domeki x Zashi Warashi...**

**Neji: WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Grimm: Or maybe even a Himawari x Kurogane...**

**Neji: Again... WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Grimm: -writes on scratch pad- How many hits do you think a Tomoyo x Watanuki would get...?**

**Neji: How about some normal pairings, like Domeki x Watanuki, Himawari x Watanuki, Sakura x Syaoran, Fay x Kurogane... even frickin Yuko x Domeki is better than what you're thinking up!**

**Grimm: My mind is on crack, but I'm straight edge, so I'm not on crack, which therefor I must just be naturally a crackpot which is why I don't do drugs, which leads me not to drink alcohol and remain abstinent, so naturally I would b straight edge, so I am not a crackpot, I just have a naturally high crack mind, but that would not be the right term seeing as there is no crack coccaine in my system, so...**

**Neji: man you are MENTAL**

**Grimm: NEJI YOU'RE A GENIUS!**

**Neji: Huh?**

**Grimm: I'm not a crackpot because I'm straight edge, but I act high so... I MUST BE MENTAL!**

**Neji: Um...**

**Grimm: -runs around like a maniac wringing her hands- crack pairings crack pairings**

**Neji: Ah...**

**Grimm: DRUG REFERENCE SONGS! "Picture yourself on a boat by a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies..."**

**Neji: Shut up...**

**Grimm: "LUCY IN THE SKYYYYY WITH DIIIIAAAAAMMOOOOOONNNNDDDDDSSSSSSS!"**

**Neji: Sing another song.**

**Grimm: ANOTHER DRUG SONG!**

**Neji: That's not what I meant...!**

**Grimm: "One pill makes you smaller, and one pill makes you tall, the pills your mother gives you don't do anything at all..."**

**Neji: Uh...**

**Grimm: "Just ask a hookah smoking catterpillar..."**

**Neji: Grimm...**

**Grimm: "Go ask Alice, I guess she'd knoooooooo-ooooowww..."**

**Neji: -hits Grimm on head-**

**Grimm: NOW YOU PISSED ME OFF! Pansy ninja, see how you fend against this! DROP-A-PIANO-ON-NEJI'S-HEAD-NO-JUTSU!! Allright, now that the Hyuuga is unconcious, we can start the story while I continue to sing my drug reference songs...**

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Watanuki walked back to Yuuko's shop looking like he was walking to the gates of hell. Typical for Wata-pii, hai? When he got in the door, instead of the usual "GET ME SOME DAMN SAKE" he heard the murmuring of voices in the living room. It was unlike Yuuko to have a customer on a weekday...

"What is it you wish for?" The suddenly sage-like Yuuko asked. It was weird how she was sometimes so... drunk, and sometimes so... wise.

"Um... I don't know what you mean. I don't even know why I came here..." said the girl Yuuko was talking to. She was around Watanuki's age, and looked pained.

"Well, you must have a wish."

"My sister... she's in critical condition... in a coma." the girl started to sob. " I don't want her to die."

"There is a price." Yuuko said in monotone. The girl looked up.

"I will pay ANY price." she said, a hard and determined look on her tear stained face.

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_A wizard, a ninja, a 15 or 16 year old boy with a sleeping girl around the same age stood in front of Yuuko._

_"What is your wish?" she asked them. The ninja spoke first._

_"I want to go back to my own country, Nihon." he said sullenly, glaring at the witch. Yuuko looked amused, then turned to the Wizard._

_"And you?"_

_"Quite the opposite," he said, smiling. "I wish to go anywhere but back to my country, Ceres." he explained. Yuuko then turned to the boy holding the sleeping girl._

_"And you, Syaoran-kun?"_

_"To get Sakura-hime's memories back, no matter what it takes."_

_"There is a price." Yuko told Syaoran. He had a determined look in his eyes._

_"I will pay ANY price."_

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"You're price," Yuuko explained, "is that the burden you take from your sister will fall now on you." she explained.

"You mean... I will take her sickness?" the girl asked. Yuuko nodded. "If that is what I must pay, then so be it." the girl said assuredly. Yuuko nodded, and showed the girl out of the house.

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A young girl found herself waking up in a hospital room, tubes tying her to a machine.

"Wh-where am I?" she asked. Her mother who was standing and looking out the window turned around, and clasped her hands to her chest. Then she hug the girl.

"Oh sweetie... you're allright..." the mother began to cry.

"What happened, Okka-san?" the girl asked.

"It doesn't matter, because you're allright..."

"Okka-san, where is everybody?" the girl asked.

"At home, waiting for you."

"I want to see Nee-chan." the girl said. Her mother turned away. "Okka-san... Nee-chan is at home, waiting with the others, right?" the girl asked, scared. Her mother turned to her with tears in her eyes.

"Something happened when you were... sleeping."

"What is it? Where is Nee-chan? I want to see Nee-chan!" the girl cried, hugging her mother. The mother also cried, hugging the only daughter she had left.

"Nee-chan is waiting, but she's not waiting at home. She's waiting for you in a different place now." the mother said, her voice quivering. The girl started to sob.

"No, no, what did you do, Nee-chan?"

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**A/N**

**Depressing. Typical holic fanfic. Depressing.**


	3. Life is boring

**A/N**

**Oh-hohoho... this should be funny...**

**-Grimm**

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Watanuki stood in the kitchen, trying to shut out the noise of the screaming girl's voice.

"DAMMIT! WHAT KIND OF A PLACE IS THIS?! I COME TO A STUPID FRICKIN WISH SHOP AND HERE YOU ARE, TELLING ME YOU CAN'T GRANT MY DAMN WISH?!" the girl continued to yell at Wata-pii. He tried to remain calm.

"I'm sorry... Yuuko-san is out right now but I'm sure if you come back later..."

"LISTEN YOU TRANS! I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE ORDERS FROM SOME LITTLE GAY KID! WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PURSE?!" this set Wata-tan off the wall.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM ATTRACTED TO A VERY NICE _GIRL _NAMED HIMAW-"

"Right. A huh. Sure. And you walk around with..." she pointed at Larg. "A STUFFED RABBIT." she said. Wata-kichi didn't have time to speak before she screamed at the top of her lungs... "WHAT THE HELL?! MY LIFE IS SO BORING!! I WISH SOMETHING EXCITING WOULD HAPPEN ONCE IN A WHILE, AT LEAST MORE EXCITING THAN RUNNING INTO A GUY WITH A PORK BUN FETISH!" the girl yelled in Watanuki's face. He fumed.

"Maybe you should be wishing for some frickin anger managment classes instead." he said coly.

"I WISH MY LIFE WASN'T SO BORING!" the girl screamed again. Just then, Yuuko san walked in smoking that awesome little hookah of hers.

"Did someone say... wish?"

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The girl and Yuuko both sat down together at the table, the girl was still fuming. Yuuko ignored her state and refilled her hookah with more illegal pot from who-knows-where. The girl looked at Yuuko's hookah with interest.

"Um... Miss Yuuko?"

"Yes?"

"May I smoke some pot?" the girl asked very plainly. Yuuko just stared at her, then closed her eyes and continued to smoke her hookah.

"I'm sorry... it's not legal. We don't do anything illegal here in my shop." Yuuko said. Watanuki, who was evesdropping, mouth dropped open. The girl with Yuuko had the same reaction.

"But... um... isn't you smoking pot illegal?" she asked Yuuko. Yuuko pondered this for a moment, then shrugged.

"Eh... maybe. I don't know. Anyway..." she said, puffing another smoek circle. "What's your wish?"

"My life sucks."

"Oh dear." Yuuko clicked her tongue in dissapointment. The girl looked confused.

"Um... what?"

"Well, you see, at the beginning of this chapter you have a violent encounter with the main character, Kimihiro Watanuki. Not to mention now you tell me that you have a sucky life..." Yuuko nodded. "Yes, these are the symptoms of a Mary Sue." she explained to the girl. Then she leaned in closer. "_Are you a Maru Sue?_"

"Um... my name's Nami, actually..." the girl said, still not getting it. Yuuko sat back and chuckled.

"Never mind. You're too stupid to be a Mary Sue."

"SAY WHAT?!"

"Oh-hohoho... anyway, you want your life to be more exciting?"

"Yes." the girl said. Yuuko put on her sage-like expression and said in a morbid voice...

"**T**_H_**E**R_**E **_I**_S _**_A **P**_R**I**_C**E**_."

"I'M FRICKIN BROKE, WOMAN!" the girl yelled. Yuuko put her hands over her ears theatrically.

"Dear child, be reasonable." Yuuko said. "It is not a finacial price..."

"What is it?"

"You must pay..." Yuuko paused for dramatic affect. "YOUR BRAVERY."

"My... bravery?" the girl asked, confused. Yuuko nodded.

"You see, once I take your bravery away from you, you will fear EVERYTHING." Yuuko explained. The girl looked at her strangely.

"How does this make my life exciting?"

"It makes it the most exciting life anybody has."

"HOW IN THE HELL..?" Yuuko held up her hand, shutting the girl up.

"Well, why do you think people plung down hills in unsecure cars going 100 some miles an hour, held by only a single metal bar?"

"um..."

"FEAR MAKES THINGS EXCITING, YOU IDIOT CHILD!" Yuuko bonked the girl on the head. "NOW GO AND BE AFRAID!"

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_**Two Days Later**_

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A raving lunatic girl was yelling at everything she could see. A car passed her.

"OH MY GOSH IT'S THE FRICKIN FBI!" she screamed, grabbing a man by the collar as he walked past her. "THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME! ALL OF THEM!" she screamed into the man's face. Then she looked deep into his eyes and screamed again, flinging him ten feet in front of her. "AND YOU'RE OUT TO GET ME, TOO!" she screamed, then started running. The cops eventually came with a straight jacket.

"Ma'am, we are going to have to deport you to the local asylum now..."

"MUTINY!" she screamed. The police looked at each other, confused.

"Mutiny, ma'am?" they asked. She got a wild look in her eyes, and started to wring her hands.

"It aaaaall started with the... STRAWBEEEERRRRIIIIEEEEESSSSZZZZZZ!" she said.

"Ma'am, this is real life, not a Humphry Bogart movie. Get in the van." the police officer patted the girl on the shoulder. "It's okay, at least you have an exciting life..."

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**A/N**

**Bored, anyone?**


	4. A Fangirl's Dream

**G/N**

**Yes, G/N stands for GRIMM NOTE since there's more than one author on this account. I'm Grimm. Hullo there, you all know me, unfortunately for you. Sorry for the lack of updates for the past.... months. Um, this one should be funny. Short, but I don't know how else to write it.**

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"I want to meet Fay." the girl said. Yuuko just stared at her for a minute. Watanuki tried to not laugh. Yuuko blinked.

"I'm sorry. What was that?"

"I want to meet Fay Florite. The wizard." the girl said again, rather impatiently. Yuuko blinked three times.

"Oh. Um, are you by any chance from the parallel dimension....?" she asked, still blinking. The girl shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming, but I might as well have a good dream, right? I read _xxxHOLiC _quite a bit. These four wannabe authors on the internet started this account called CLAMP Doujinshi, and one of them started this story where we get to make up a scenario where you, Ms Yuuko, answer one of our wishes." the girl shrugged. "I guess it got into my dream a bit, because now I'm dreaming of you people, and I would like to meet Fay." she said. Yuuko blinked a few more times, ignoring Watanuki, who had disappeared and was laughing hysterically in the other room.

"All dreams are connected, yes...." Yuuko pondered for a moment. She grinned. "**T**_H_**E**R_**E **_I**_S _**_A **P**_R**I**_C**E**_."

"I know. You seem to say that a lot.... in Holic and in the internet fanfiction...." the girl was interrupted by Watanuki who had just come in from laughing his guts out.

"What the hell is HOLIC?" he asked her. She looked at him like he was an idiot.

"The manga you're in, Watanuki-kun..... huh?" Watanuki was laughing again, going into the other room.

"I...I... I'M IN A MANGA THAT'S SO FRICKN HILARIOUS OH KAMI PLEASE STOP I'M DIIEIIIIIIIING!" he rolled around on the floor, Mokona dancing next to him.

"Manga! Manga! Manga!"

"Shuttup, Pork Bun."

Yuuko and the girl just stood there, watching them.

"This is an interesting dream." the girl said, turning to Yuuko. Yuuko shrugged.

"I'm glad to hear it. You do know that I can't grant your wish, right?"

"Why not?" the girl asked. Now it was Yuuko's turn to wear a patronizing look.

"How are you supposed to pay me? You're dreaming." she said, poking the girl once with her hookah. "Wake up already. You're starting to give Kimihiro-kun seizures."

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**G/N**

**Sorry, didn't know how else to put it.**


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